Meet the Author: Jen Evans

Katie Zeliger

21 minutes ago

8 min read

Get to know our newest author, Jen Evans. She is the author of debut memoir When the Going Gets Toxic: Seeking Hope in the Breaking Points of Life. Hear about her life, writing, and journey to publishing!

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

My name is Jen, and I wrote the book When the Going Gets Toxic. I am an extreme extrovert who can’t sit still for the life of me. So how did I manage to sit down and write a book? LOTS of coffee (preferably a nice oat milk cafe miel, if you’re taking notes). You can usually find me exploring a National Park or over-filling my calendar spending time with friends. I also help lead worship at my local church and am passionate about teaching the Bible.

What inspired you to write your book?

The Holy Spirit! It’s kind of a crazy story. During my divorce process, I read some of my journal entries to my therapist to help process the abusive events from my marriage. He was the first one to ask if I’d ever considered writing a book. He told me he knew many people in situations just like mine who could find hope in my story. I didn’t think much of it, but a few nights later, I woke up in the middle of the night with a picture in my head of the book cover and the book title. I started a Google Doc a few days later, but kept the idea to myself. Shortly after that, I was at Bible School when a young woman I just met prayed over me and said, “I feel like there is a book that God is calling you to write that will bring hope to others.” It was as if God looked right at me and said, “Did I stutter?”

How did you navigate writing about real people and real situations in your life?

I wanted to find a way to balance being respectful and honoring to all characters in this story while also being vulnerable and honest about what happened. For that reason, I chose to change some characters’ names, identifying characteristics and prominent locations.

What have you learned in writing out your story? Did writing it change the way you viewed yourself, others, or the situations?

Writing this story was a healing process. But healing often requires feeling the hurt and heartbreak all over again, so the process was painful at times. It taught me that no matter how separated you are from the pain of a traumatic situation, you are still susceptible to feeling pain from it at any given moment. That understanding is important for anyone in a similar situation as a reminder to show yourself grace during the healing process.

When did you realize your own personal story had themes that could resonate with a wider audience?

In sharing my story with others, I learned that abusive relationships are more common than I ever realized. When I was hospitalized for my autoimmune disease, my medical staff would ask what I did for work and fun. As I told them about the book I was writing and shared my story, they would each respond by either relating to an abusive relationship themselves or knowing a close friend or family member who experienced one. It was eye-opening to see how unfortunately relevant this story would be to many people in today’s society.

In a few words, what is the most important lesson you’ve learned in your journey?

Forgiveness doesn’t require reconciliation, especially when dealing with an abusive person in your life.

What stories/books inspired you to write your own?

I’ve always been drawn to real-life stories of people who have taken a negative or traumatic experience and turned it into something beautiful that helps others. In the memoir genre, I love the creativity of The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls as well as the unique writing voice that Jeanette McCurdy used in her memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died.

In the Christian non-Fiction genre, I was inspired by Lysa Terkeurst, who balances sharing her own stories with teaching Biblical truth in each of her books. When I was going through my divorce, a friend gifted me with Lysa’s book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, which resonated deeply with my own story.

What do you hope readers will come away with after reading your book?

The quick answer is hope for the future. But on top of that, what I really desire for my readers to walk away with is an inspiration to practice honesty with themselves, others, and the Lord. We’re not meant to go through things in this life alone. Taking that first step to allow yourself to feel the hard feelings and let other people into the vulnerable places of your heart is incredibly important in the process of healing from trauma and disappointment.

What was your writing process?

Writing a book while working a full time job turned out to be harder than I expected (who knew?). Thankfully, I was invited to join a writing group through my church at the time that provided weekly accountability, constructive criticism, prayer, and encouragement. Outside of that group, I made a habit of writing every day, whether it was a journal entry, prayer, or the actual manuscript. After signing my publishing contract, I spent the last year intentionally rewriting and editing my book with my amazing team.

What was the easiest and most difficult part of writing?

I wish I could say that there was an easy part to writing WTGGT. However, if I’m being completely honest (which is kind of my MO), the entire process was quite challenging. It was spiritually, emotionally, and physically difficult at times. To say “yes” to writing this book meant saying “no” to many other things so that I could be diligent with my limited free time. I also dealt with insecurity, feeling unqualified to write this story. In the end, I knew I had to trust that God could use my story regardless of how perfect or imperfect my work is. I can only do everything I can and trust God to do the rest.

How did you untangle biblical concepts like submission and forgiveness from the reality of an abusive marriage?

For most of my life, I thought that forgiveness required forgetting what was done, which only led me to ignore repeated patterns. This came from the verse, “Love keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5). The church also taught me that you should submit to your spouse’s leadership (Ephesians 5:21-22). While we could enter into a healthy debate around theological beliefs here, I would prefer to simply put it like this: To submit to your partner means that you fully trust them. Abuse creates broken trust. This then leads to the importance of accountability within a relationship. Healthy relationships must have an “open door policy” for accountability to enter.

How was your faith changed through the marriage and subsequent divorce? Was there a process of reclaiming, deconstructing, or sifting?

Faith has always been the most important part of my life. In my abusive marriage, I caught myself asking God, “why?” on a daily basis. I felt confused and alone, yet I never doubted God’s existence. I confess that I became angry at God and regularly took what I lovingly refer to as “Cuss Walks with God”, which is exactly as it sounds. I challenged myself, though, to end each of those honest prayers with one simple phrase: “But no matter what, I will still trust you”. I have a lot of empathy for those who deconstructed from faith due to a traumatic experience. I would encourage anyone in that place that if they choose to try prayer again, it doesn’t need to be formal. It can simply be a “Cuss Walk” with the God who can handle you at your worst.

What does your faith look like now on this side of healing?

After my 30-day hospitalization post-divorce, I decided to fast once a month for the first year after. I did this to remind myself of what God brought me out of. During that time, I would look back on journal entries and prayers from the darkest times of my life and then practice gratitude for where I am now. When we don’t take time to intentionally reflect on what God has done, we end up like the Israelites who begged to return to their slavery in Egypt the moment things got hard on their path to the Promised Land. I aim to continue to celebrate the healing and freedom the Lord has brought me through regularly as a way to keep faith even when life throws more challenges my way.

What specific message do you have for readers who are currently sitting in a pew every Sunday feeling trapped by religious guilt in an unsafe home?

Please hear this one thing: You are not alone. Find someone you trust that you can talk to about what is going on behind closed doors, whether that is a friend, family member, pastor, or therapist. If at any point that person minimizes the abuse or tells you to stay in a dangerous situation, please seek support elsewhere. A safe spiritual leader will never diminish what you are going through.

What’s one thing local churches can do to help someone in an unsafe situation?

Talk about the taboo topic of abuse. I’ve visited many different Christian churches all across the United States, and anytime there was a sermon on marriage, it seemed the only thing being preached was to stay married no matter what. I would love to see churches and pastors become more comfortable warning others of abusive behaviours and providing resources for those who are navigating an unsafe relationship. We also need to be cautious not to shame divorce from the church stage. You never know who chose divorce as a means of safety and escape, and not merely of giving up.

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

If you feel the Lord is calling you to do something, such as telling your own story, the first step is to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. God wants our willingness to say “yes” to Him, even when we may be afraid to do so. I think about Moses when God approaches him in the burning bush in Exodus chapters 3 and 4. Moses immediately lists out all the ways he was disqualified to do what God called him to do. But in the end, God used him anyway. It’s okay to feel afraid, uncomfortable, or disqualified. I encourage you today to step out in faith and ask God what He wants to do with your own story.

Where can people find your book?

You can find my debut memoir, When the Going Gets Toxic, on my website (www.jenevanswrites.com) as well as online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I would recommend this book for anyone 14 years and older, as it includes topics of depression, anxiety, mentions of suicide, self-harm, verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, and physical abuse.

Thank you, Jen, for sharing your time and insights with us!

If you would like to follow along with her book and further updates, you can find her on social media @jenevanswrites or subscribe to her newsletter at jenevanswrites.com

You can order her book on Amazon here or you can order a signed copy here.

Available everywhere September 30th, 2026!

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